Why Change Feels So Hard (And What You Can Do About It)
Have you ever gotten excited about a new goal—something that felt right in your gut—only to find yourself completely stalling out?
You tell yourself you’ll start Monday (for real this time).
You make the plan. Set the intention. Visualize the outcome.
But somehow… you still don’t follow through.
You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. And you’re definitely not lacking willpower.
What you are running into is your brain’s very smart, very ancient wiring.
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Your Brain Is an Energy Miser (And It’s Not Personal)
Here’s something that might surprise you:
Your brain uses about 20% of your body’s energy—and yet it can’t store fuel the way your muscles or liver can. That means it’s constantly budgeting how much energy it has and where it’s going to spend it.
And when it comes to change?
That’s expensive.
Your brain’s first priority is survival, not transformation. So it has a default setting that says:
“If it’s familiar, it’s safe. If it’s unfamiliar, it’s a risk.”
Even if the change you want is healthy, exciting, and meaningful…
Your brain still sees it as a potential energy drain.
And its protective instinct kicks in—often without you even realizing it.
So instead of confidently stepping into that new goal, you find yourself:
- 🕓 Putting it off (“I’ll start Monday… again.”)
- 📱 Distracting yourself with other tasks
- 😴 Feeling weirdly tired just thinking about it
- ❌ Talking yourself out of it completely
Sound familiar?
Fear Makes It Worse (Even If the Danger Is All in Your Head)
Now let’s add another layer: fear.
Maybe it’s fear of judgment (hello, recording a video).
Maybe it’s fear of failure. Or fear of change itself.
When fear enters the chat, your brain doesn’t just whisper “let’s take it easy.”
It starts flashing warning lights and pulling you back to what’s familiar—even if that familiar place isn’t serving you anymore.
And that’s when we start repeating old patterns:
- ✖️Comfort eating
- 🙈Skipping workouts
- 😬Avoiding visibility
- 🔙Second-guessing ourselves
The Science-Backed Solution: Repetition = Safety
It’s not that you don’t want the change. It’s that your brain hasn’t learned to feel safe there yet.
This is where the real magic happens.
According to Dr. James Doty, neurosurgeon and author of Mind Magic, your brain will literally reject new goals if they feel too unfamiliar or energy-intensive.
But with enough repetition—through practices like:
- ✏️Journaling
- 👀Visualization
- 🙇Affirmations
- 🌿Meditation
- 💭Or even just thinking about your goal regularly…
…your brain starts to adjust.
That big scary goal? It starts feeling a little more normal.
A little more familiar.
A little safer.
And the more familiar something becomes, the less fuel it takes to process.
That means your brain becomes more willing to let you pursue it—and even starts helping you find ways to make it happen.
✨ Repetition rewires the system:
- 🔁 The more you rehearse your vision…
- 🧠 The more your brain sees it as familiar…
- 🌱 The more comfortable it becomes to take action
- 🚦 Eventually, your brain gives the green light—without resistance
You’re Not Doing It Wrong—You’re Just Rewiring
If you’ve ever thought:
“Why is this so hard? I know what to do!”
…it’s not because you’re incapable.
It’s because you’re interrupting decades of mental default settings.
You are literally rewiring your brain to see a new identity, a new habit, a new possibility as normal.
And that takes reps.
That’s why the same mindset work might feel boring.
That’s why fear shows up even when the path makes sense.
That’s why change feels like walking uphill at first.
But the hill flattens out.
And eventually, your brain starts helping instead of hindering.
🌟Let Your Brain Catch Up to Your Desire
So here’s your takeaway:
- 🧠 You’re not broken—you’re rewiring
- 🌿 Repetition teaches your brain a new normal
- 🕊️ There’s no deadline for becoming the woman you envision
- ✨ Your job isn’t to force change—it’s to familiarize it
- 🚶♀️ Keep going. The resistance is just your brain learning
- 🚫You definitely don’t need to “just get over” your fear.
What you need is a strategy that gives your brain enough repetition to feel safe.
One thought shift at a time. One rep at a time.
So if you’ve ever caught yourself wondering why change feels so hard—guess what? It’s not because you’re broken. It’s because your brain’s out here trying to coupon-clip energy like it’s 1992. But you’re onto it now—and with a few reps and some well-placed stubbornness, you’re gonna show that brain who’s boss. 🧠💪✨
And if you’re not sure where to begin?
I made something for that.
👇
Download Mind Over Habit: A Mini Guide to Thought Shifts That Stick
It’ll help you gently retrain the thoughts that drive your actions—so change becomes less exhausting and more natural.
You’re not failing. You’re just rewiring.
And you’re doing an incredible job. 💜
